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"Esquire Magazine"



"Please, John, don't ruin a wonderful evening!"


"That's the sort of thing we're trying to discourage."

 
 
         
 
"Always wait for the red light - then if you get hit you can sue."
 
  "I don't mind your kissing my daughter, but would you mind not pressing her against the bell?"
 
 
 

 
 
"It IS a violin!"
 
"Why don't you ask HER to iron your shirts for you?"
 
         
 
"Hello, Peter. You can go to hell now."
 
"At your age, Louise, I was living it - not reading it."
 
         
 
"William, don't your own parents mean anything to you?"
 
"When I'm reasoning with you, you shut up!"
 
         
 
"Don't do that again, Mother...I promise to write you more often."
 
"F'God's sake, stop thinking about women, sir. You're breaking my eardrums!"
 
         
 
"Phooey!"
 

Snoring

"See? It ain't no dog howling!"

 
         
 

Landlord

"O. K. honey –– let the landlord in!""

     
         
 
 
         
         

 
   

 

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